I WANNA BE A NINJA TURTLE

Sometime in the late fall semester of 2003 at school an event occurred that must not go unrecorded. It happened in English 111. The paper we were about to write was on contrast. The comparison of careers, where to live, and to have a cat or dog were appropriate. However there was a special student, with red hair and a lack of interests that stood apart in the class. Afterwards while I attempted to study in the library these words took hold leaving me in tears and all alone laughing aloud.
THE OLD NINJA TURTLES AND THE NEW NINJA TURTLES
This remark is absolutely kicking the shit out of my side. Mrs. Hard-on (Herndon) kicks it up a notch inflicting major damage on my fellow student’s intellect. She offered him no option, but to crumble up like an old beer can in a garbage disposal. The orangutan found life frigid and harsh, as her wicked rhetoric blasted him into space. Cry not, for the split second demolition crushed him before his weak mind had a chance to analyze the information. This abuse was originally intended to put into perspective the proper response to her question. Simplicity and creativity took hold of the orangutan revealing his inner child. “Come, come and see,” she implemented without saying the words and then inquired, “ are you planning to become a ninja turtle soon?“ As the class convulsed and reveled in the disturbing discovery. A reality made itself crystal clear in my mind. How could we be so cruel, in finding a soft spot then gouging it repetitively with glee.

Forbidden Fruit

Forbidden Fruit

Introduction; I have been a spiritual and religious person for most of my life, but the doubts I had as child still bothered me into adulthood. Recently I returned to school, at the age of 39, in order to change careers and found myself enlightened. With my studies of Physiology and Anatomy, not to mention Psychology giving me the tools to rationalize my doubts of the validity of religion my quest began. Let me be the first to say that losing one’s religion is a double-edged sword in spite of the liberation; the downside is the cold dark abyss of reality. So why even bother to write this, because the doubts will not let me be and to see our world threatening to eliminate itself because one branch of the same religion (Judaism) is insane! Any cleric, preacher, pontiff, mullah, or rabbi that calls for its congregation to make war should themselves be drawn and quartered.
Here I have selected 10 verses from the NIV Holy Bible from the book of Genesis. I welcome rational responses to my post, and hope my readers realize that I am not a scholar by no means, just a man seeking answers. Knowing that the book of Genesis came from oral tradition, probably spoken around campfires under the stars as shepherds kept an eye on their flocks, there has to be some inconsistencies. Then the possibility that the words have been lost or misunderstood, in the countless translations making the reader use metaphoric rationales to comprehend the word of God. I will attempt to do this in a respectful manner, but how does one proceed in blaspheme and not cause true believers to hate you. For those of you strong enough in your beliefs I challenge you to entertain my interpretations and conclusions and look forward to calm, intelligent responses.

Ge 2:9 And the LORD God made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground—trees that were pleasing to the eye and good for food. In the middle of the garden were the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

Here there is mention of the tree of life and the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Now moral stories serve as guidelines to help. My first concern is that why is knowledge of good and evil so bad. If the serpent had not succeeded in persuading eve to taste the forbidden fruit was the plan for Adam and Eve to live in the Garden of Eden for eternity oblivious to anything other than basic living eating, defecating, and companionship. My second concern is why they were forbidden to eat from the tree of life when the punishment was death.

Ge 3:12 The man said, “The woman you put here with me —she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”

Here Adam sells out his companion to God putting the blame on her. If there is a moral here to learn, it seems to me it is this. The devil can easily tempt a woman into deceiving a man. Therefore, women are inherently evil companions not to be trusted. Secondly, why would God allow this verbal serpent into this Eden if he knew what the outcome would be in the first place?

Ge 3:13 Then the LORD God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

Here again Eve is put on the spot, as God already knows, but continues to question the frightened woman. What fruit was this or is it a metaphorical rationale and the real fruit was Adam’s penis. After that Adam returned the blissful favor and realized that there was more to do than hang around eating food. Clearly, the serpent could pass for a phallic symbol though I doubt it spoke any verbal commands. Functional moral would be that early men interested in procreation in order to populate an area with like minded people would see this type of sexual act as wasteful and detrimental if oral were to become preferred.

Ge 3:22 And the LORD God said, “The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever.”

This is another puzzling use of words as God says that man has become like one of us? Are there more than one and just knowing good and evil can elevate your status that much seems ludicrous? Now that Adam has become like God he must not eat of the tree of life and perish back to the dust in which he came. Metaphorical rationale or not I do not comprehend this concept.

Ge 4:1 Adam 19 lay with his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain. She said, “With the help of the LORD I have brought forth a man.”

Now that the knowledge of good and evil or sex has set in Adam becomes a father to Cain. Eve has been scorned, set up, and blamed for the fall of man but is quick to give the credit to God for her son.

Ge 4:2 Later she gave birth to his brother Abel. Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil.

Here I find it all a bit much that Cain, who is clearly the stronger of the two sons is a humble farmer. While Abel is living the carefree life of the shepherd, bringing in choice cuts of meat and fat to offered up as sacrifice. Cain has only vegetables’ to offer and seasonal at best cannot compete with the bounty his brother is able to provide. It does not take a rocket scientist to see that the first-born son of any family would enjoy watching their younger sibling out do them on a consistent basis and may retaliate.

Ge 4:8 Now Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let’s go out to the field.” And while they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him.

I believe we all know where this is going as Cain slays his only brother in the middle of a wheat field. What astounds me here is where Adam and Eve were, practicing are good and evil? It is as if the murder had to happen in order to explain the reality of man’s violent innate nature. Functional moral is to learn to except your situation and not to retaliate if your brother is able to provide offerings that are more bountiful.

Ge 4:17 Cain lay with his wife, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Enoch. Cain was then building a city, and he named it after his son Enoch.

Knowing that all men are not Jews and did not descend from Jews here it is easy for me say that the deal is off. How could Cain lay with his wife to bare Enoch while he is also building a city? Do the math, if you get extremely productive how many offspring can you have? Now to do shepherds work 12 sons would be a good number, but building a city would imply that there were others around. Now where could these non-Jews have come from?

Ge 4:25 Adam lay with his wife again, and she gave birth to a son and named him Seth, saying, “God has granted me another child in place of Abel, since Cain killed him.”

Maybe this is presented out of context, but it appears clearly after Cain lays with his wife which debunks the theory of Eves many sons and daughters. Clarity is nowhere to be found, as the populace seems to explode exponentially over night. Seth was sent as a replacement for Able, which would indicate he was the only child born before, or at the time, Cain was building a city.

Ge 5:2 He created them w male and female and blessed them. And when they were created, he called them “man. 29 ’”

Here again clarity is nowhere to be found it now sounds as if God created more men and women. I am a die-hard evolutionist and it just makes sense the cells multiplied and became plentiful. Along the way they became two and three cell life forms devising better ways to acquire food and procreate. The race began and multicelled life forms went forth and prospered. Life from the sea made its way to the land. Why is this considered a ridiculous theory when compared to a deity forming a man from clay.

Bottom line;
There is no way that anyone can ever prove the existence of God or that he does not. Science, in my opinion has overwhelming empirical evidence on the evolution of man, but it does not satisfy the bigger questions like what started the big bang? I look forward to your rebuttals.

John R Hill

Reference for Bible verses;
[The Holy Bible, New International Version. Pradis CD-ROM:Genesis ]

The Unknown Thought

In order to make the reader see the perspective of this brief thought let me introduce the setting. I am a caregiver employed at a skilled nursing facility. One day I happened to notice two residents who were suffering from Dementia in the front lobby. If you have worked with residents with this pathology you know how it affects these innocent people. If you do not know about Dementia I challenge you to research, educate, and volunteer some of you time to these forgotten citizens. According to the CDC more than 5 million Americans have Alzheimer’s a form of Dementia.

The Unknown Thought

A forward lunge coupled with shallow breaths, barely audible, but her actions profound. Another sits and observes with the highest admiration for her happenstance partner in crime’s courageous act. No words are spoken, brief glances, osculating jaws, and sagging skin with a burning spirit struggling within. A long moment draws out with no one moving, not a word passes between them, no gestures, only the fleeting alignment of eyes disclosing the dire need they share. A need comprised of a void too great to imagine, and minds too limited to fully manifest the plan, but yet their spirit’s pushes onward. Just as rivers obey gravity and can go from a sleeping lull to a relentless destructive force in a matter of hours, driven on with a pouring rain. The spirit, unlike the feeble body needs no rest only stimulation, a spark to ignite the flame. This spirit needs not to be reminded by a weakening mind, only for the frail cognitive mechanism to allow the spirit to assume control.
Insubstantial legs jut out making demands as the heels of her shoes dig hopelessly against the slick tile floor. Deep bends at the waist as if she was in agony and yet not a sound came from her. The silent partner grinned as the wheels of the worn wheel chair began to creep forward, progress. Yes, progress at last, as if the idea was sprung upon them both anew. Excitement filled a sliver of the void, just as the sky lightens hours before the dawn, hope. Hope sets the spirit a fire and capitalizing on this new found source of energy as the mind immediately turns placid allowing the plan to again be revealed. Triumph! As the sun illuminates the mountain peaks, what was hidden is now a striking beacon, the road that leads home.
Pride swelled within the rekindled spirit as her hand reached for the bar of the glass door. Then it happened. An ear-piercing shriek penetrated the blissful moment stripping away the glorious moment in a mocking manner, the brilliant plan dissolved without either partner noticing. Firm hands, ease in from behind as a wrenching betrayal witnessed only by the silent partner. A kind reassuring voice chimes in redirecting the moment allowing the proposal to mire deeper into oblivion. Quietly the companion watches in horror as the opportunity is lost, not able to hold the thought it is forgotten as the alarm falls silent.
There deep in the recesses of the mind, filled with decades of countless precious memories trapped, remaining irretrievable. Brief flashes of time gone past, faces of love ones and places they grew up spending those many years of a fruitful life. A picture on her wall bares a reflection of a beautiful woman in her twenties. She stands beside a car and a strong man whose times have come and gone. Behind them stands a humble, but sound white house filled with promise and delight that newly weds can only generate. All these treasures lost to time and the affects of aging. Dementia is a cruel pathology the robs us of the things we hold most dear and punishes those around us who are helpless to eradicate its prevalence.

No my child there is no Santa Clause....

“No my child there is no Santa Clause”,…the father lamented piercing the delicate bubble he guarded so diligently for all those many years.

This is a situation most fathers’ have or will experience with their children. It is with no pleasure to see a child’s imagination demolished in a single unrelenting debunking of Santa Clause, Easter Bunny, and Bogey Man. However, society demands that we tear down childhood dreams and replace them with the reality of death and taxes. How cruel life can be for those who depend on such a fantasy world existence to make it through their dreary days. No magical mystery tour, elves, fairies, or trolls lying in wait under bridges to demand toll in order to pass as we mature we must come to face the facts. Nevertheless, what age is appropriate to illuminate these wonderfully expanding minds, 11, 12, or 14? I know there has to be some empirical evidence to suggest a proper age and manner in which we strip a child of his pseudo- reality and introduce the one we hold to the mark. A voice deep inside me cries out, “Ah come on we have to grow up sometime, everyone knows that no one can fly the entire globe in 24hrs delivering a variety of specially made toys to children of middle to high class society”. So there we have it my subject of debate, why do we continue to lie to our children only to admit to deceiving them at a later date.
My question is not as simple as it may seem on the surface. True we are deceiving our children but it is to maintain a special environment in which they will grow and be nourished in the understandings of life lessons such as giving. Who would want to see a broken hearted child trembling beside a poorly lit tree with only a bag of fruit to give him/her joy? A bigger question may arise; if we lie to them today will they trust us tomorrow? Children need our love but they also need honesty, and yes in my opinion, a little white lie can be just as harmful as an out and out blasphemous rhetorical one. So what are we to do, punish our children while the mothers and fathers of other children celebrate! Now I believe my question becomes a complicated one. Any time you go from personal choice to social choices and preferences your black and white becomes massive shades of gray. “How dare you, how arrogant can you be as to think that what you decide is good for my children!” I think most would agree that this is exactly the response one would get from making such a proposal, like being honest with your children.
Are you still with me, most Americans would have sensed a dark force beginning to pull them into a state of irrationalism and loss of credibility. We are not good at taking advice from anyone unless they promise wealth, health, weight loss, hair growth, and how to get a stain out of our new carpet. Depressing is it not when you think of how we continue to assume that we are the superior nation and our ways are the best things since sliced bread. Even though it is true that we are innovative capitalist (not always a respectable image) living in a country full of self-righteous people fulfilling their life long ambitions through their own children. And with that in mind are we some how lying to ourselves in some deep mysterious way seeking to recapture some of our lost childhood moments seeking to replace them with brighter, and grander schemes.
Now that I have your attention, what should we consider about other critical issues such as abortion, capital punishment, corporal punishment, alcohol and drug abuse, homosexuality, credibility of government, and finally religion? Again the same voices chime in a discontinuous chorus of threatening resolves, “How dare you arrogant man, how dare your even consider such nonsense!” As you can see there are no easy answers to the multitude of questions that will continued to spin off each other into the infinite number of possible scenarios, as blacks and whites diversify into endless shades of gray. On second thought maybe we can be honest with our children and still encase them in a semi perfect environment in which they can grow and build trust with no let downs during confessions explaining why Bobby down the street didn’t receive any presents this year because his parents were Jehovah’s Witness. (bibbidy, bobbidy, boo! )
Abortion continues to bring out the most radical idiots of our time. Can anyone look at an issue objectively anymore? Crime of passion does not come to mind when someone is decapitated by a crappy explosive set up outside a clinic that so happens does the community a great service. My point being with all the hate crimes we see on the news, babies found in dumpsters, children born addicted to crack cocaine, rape victims pregnancy, and child abuse who are we really serving here, ourselves? A high school History teacher stated a profound statement that has stuck with me through many years and I can still hear his voice today, “There is nothing good about bringing an unwanted child into this world.” Do not allow a kneejerk reflex have you lose the emphatic point he is alluding to. Unwanted can mean many things to many people, but to a child there can be no refuse from rejection. The voices return, “You ignorant ranting lunatic how do you sleep at night.”
Capital punishment is a no brainer to me, but then again I have never been on death row either. Here I feel torn on giving the State or Federal Government the power to put me to death if I am found guilty of a heinous crime, or do they already have that power? No one can clearly appreciate this issue unless they were directly involved with a heinous crime affecting a loved one. And clearly there is a difference between a semi-tractor trailer running over a child in an intersection and a drive by shooting where clearly the punishment seems appropriate for the later only. Another driving point is that we find out that “Joe” has been incarcerated for twenty years and by DNA testing is acquitted. “Yeah, wise ass how about that one!” Definitely anyone born with enough logic to notice the difference between a Summer and Winter can safely reason out that statistically the error of putting to death less than a percent of these miracle cases could not out weigh the overwhelmingly guilty whom have taken innocent lives leaving broken hearts and homes in their wake. Tax dollars that we spend bathing, clothing, educating, counseling, heating and cooling, feeding, provide health care including dental, access to the internet, legal advice, conjugal visits, seeing loved ones, and influence others on perfecting their crimes in order not to get caught, are being wasted. When we could have spent the billions of tax dollars on education, health care for law-abiding citizens, improving impoverished areas giving them an environment in which they have a fighting chance at making something out of themselves, I guess that is exactly what we do not want.
Another critical issue that is a favorite of mine, and is one that is close to my heart because it has directly affected my own child development, Corporal Punishment. Here the voices of ignorance rein supreme, “Nobodies going to lay a hand on my child, not even me.” Sing it from the rooftops friends because in the end what that cute little child has coming to them is nothing in comparison to a paddling. How about 30 years to life in a high security prison because mummy taught me that there are no physical punishments only verbal punishments. And yes ladies and gentlemen if you are wondering spare the rod will ruin the child and that child will become a rotten adult. No one wants to intimidate children, even if it is for their own good. An effective corporal punishment is more about losing face in front of your peers not counting blisters. Yes, I could see the gleam and confusion in my child’s eyes as he wrestled with the concept of “they can not eat me at school, but when I get home I am going to get it”. Whatever action you plan to take consider this advice, never confuse your children with rules and the punishments that accompany them. Big example, when I was growing up it was considered rude to talk to loud at the table, but when I joined other friends homes it was not enforced. What was allowed at my friends house would surely get a dismissal from dinner at least. Bottom line or take home message is to talk to your children giving them rationale for your rules and the consequences that may follow. Then when the infraction occurs it is up to you to follow through to the letter, heat those hams.
Alcohol and Drug abuse should these substances really be considered separate. Yes, because alcohol is legal to those above the age of 21 and that is the only reason. We all know horror stories of alcoholics living miserable lives unable to shed their dependency not unlike a heroin addict. Marijuana still can never be given a fair shot at becoming a legal substance due to some heavy lobbying in the early twentieth century ensuring that everyone came to know the evils of this drug. Sorry folks but the jury is out on this one because anyone who had ever utilized the substance knows that you become a timid, fearful, anxious, homebody that cannot drive to the store in fear that they most certainly be arrested. Unlike the boisterous drunk college man fighting, driving reckless, and displays no fear of authority. We need to think about the issues folks. Another educator made a lasting impression by alluding to the fact that legalizing and making available these drugs would increase revenue! Yes, folks that means more money for schools, roads, businesses, abortion clinics, and rehabilitation centers for substance abuse. Not money for Al-Qaida and other shady characters like cartels and extremist who by the way do not share our American Dream (yes it has been a long time since you heard those words).
Here is one of my personal favorite critical issues that make everyone feel uncomfortable homosexuality. I will try my best to remain unbiased, even though we have pro-homosexual themes forced down our throat through the media. If you think my biased is glaring through consider this little ditty. My family made the great journey to visit the great Mickey Mouse in Florida. If you have made this journey on a modest income you will appreciate my complaint. Upon entering the park I noticed something peculiar, there was a lot of same sex couples scattered throughout the park. A few hours into our first day at Disney World we learn that it was Gay Celebration Week. Now if there ever was a place one would feel safe from the perversions of our modern age it would be a family oriented theme park, but sorry Gay people have more money. This is a point we need to comprehend, if your group makes lots of money you will find your rights will increase dramatically. If you doubt this, test it will comparison rights for women and blacks in how many years it took to gain the acceptance of homosexuality. It is agreed that we all have desires and I do believe that people have truly uncontrollable sexual orientation. But the difficult part comes when I have to submit my children to witnessing two men kissing and giggling like school girls while glaring at me cynically.
Credibility of government is probably a null point, since anyone who is pro government will simply declare that my views are that of a radical conspirator. If you have doubts about the crookedness of our misleaders you are not alone, but the puzzling part comes into play when you realize that no one will voice their opinion. When this subject comes to mind I hear these words, “The road to hell was paved with good intentions.” If you have kept up with the news and have wondered if big business runs our congress then take note when they attempted to make the big oil companies justify their extreme profits amidst a national crisis. Of course it all was justified and the fan fair ended not even ruffling a single feather, wow. If it hasn’t become obvious yet it will if you only follow the paper trail. Every elected official can be traced in some way to large corporations, of course there are a few individuals wealthy enough to move voters or should I say delegates. I have a theory and would love someone to prove it false, everything that happens in politics happens for a reason with a calculated result in mind.
Finally religion, if there ever were a more delicate subject I don’t believe I am aware. Religion has been around as long as man has gazed upon the wonders of the natural world and attempted to understand this complex phenomenon. Innocent in its beginnings and quickly was perverted as the power of control grew. I too was a very spiritual man before science and reason obliterated my beliefs. Admittedly, they were weak at best because even at an early age the good old bible stories didn’t make sense. As my knowledge grew so did the complexity of my questions and the lack of sound answer and so down came my beliefs. I am not a cynic and can appreciate the beauty of religion with fellowship, self awareness, moral teachings, and the introspection of human nature. It is a bright beautiful illusion and I wish to rob no one of their oasis from the dark, dreary, and cruel world. But if you understand the nature of being on the outside looking in you are quickly disillusioned as the radicals crack their whips. If you have trouble seeing my point you only have to look to the past to see how many good people were tortured, raped, mangled, black balled, and put to death for their lack of conformity and in most cases paranoia and suspicions. They were not put to death by maniacs or evil people, but people who honestly believed that they were doing God’s bidding.

Bottom Line; We should take care of what we teach our children. Never to teach hate for any reason, enhancing critical thinking skills enable children to think for themselves. Unbiased knowledge resources and encouraging our children to challenge the spoken word will empower them to become healthy adults. I love my country because I able to speak my mind, why should I revoke that right from my child?

Live long and prosper,

John R. Hill