WHISKEY DARWINS UNSEEN VARIABLE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9SCWlEWivM

If you do not subscribe to Darwin or evolution then this article will be of no interest to you. However, if you do believe then here is a great theory that deserves some discussion. I have often marveled at the beauty of the animals great and small in our world, Siberian tigers, snow owls, macaws, horses, and deer to name only a few. But have you ever considered our species? Now before you blurt out some ridiculous remark take a moment to analyze what I am saying. In nature, selective processes have been on going since the beginning of time. Tedious and slow changes developing over millions of years give us the great contrasts we see in our world today. In our case I believe we have dropped the ball! Think for a moment about how your parents chose each other. Did they consider the outcome of dad’s feet and mom’s bottom? I sincerely doubted this was the case and would like to suggest another significant variable into the mix, whiskey. How much has sour mash contributed to the poor selection of certain breeds of humans?

If you have ever been to a party full of young adults drinking heavily you can grasp my concept easily. We have all heard the saying, “the girls get better looking at closing time” or “after a six pack.” As I am sure, the opposite sex has admitted to the same folly. Waking up beside a repulsive mate illuminated by the morning light is not an uncommon phenomenon and has horrific consequences. Becoming pregnant by a ugly mate, with no admirable qualities is surely Darwin’s unseen variable at play here, or is it? I would love to see some research on this ditty.

Our early ancestors definitely had to make some hard decisions, or should I say the mostly the females. Males could score and move on without any interruption is his ability to hunt and gather food. Females had to choose wisely, as she would be unable to obtain food later in the phases of pregnancy and the few following months after the child was born. Clearly, this is the reason women are physically more attractive than men are. This is when I believe we made our departure from our cousins. But something happened during mans discovery of agriculture and the domestication process needed to create civilization.

Civilization brought with a natural hierarchy masters and slaves. The masters had of course a bit more selection in their mates with the motivation of obtaining more wealth and social status. Now yes the masters could select the most beautiful mate, but they were the few compared to the slaves. Slaves were limited to their opportunity to mate and had to select what was available to them. Not to say that all slaves were ugly, but on ratio, I am confident they were not the cream of the crop. This pattern has continued up until the modern day though the classes are more diverse and divided in to manly levels of masters and slaves.

Incest, the original sin is prevalent throughout history. Egyptians, Greeks, Romans, and Europe’s Royal Elite attempted to keep the bloodlines pure a “mini me phenomenon” that had horrific consequences of birth defects. Incest also performed by the slaves and lesser peoples especially in isolated environments. Polygamy was an unknown strategy to overcome some of the detrimental effects of genetic pathologies, but as time passes in the bands the genes are duplicated and the pathologies return.

Bottom line;

We are all selfish, nasty monkeys with no real comprehension of natural selection. Our domestication has removed our innate ability to choose mates for their attributes and lead to random fornications with not so remarkable results. Our fear of the dark forces us to gather, a warm body is pleasant and sex is great! We are creatures whom seek companionship and at times can be desperate for it. Though we clearly still continue to demonstrate poor choice of mates it seems to me that whiskey has played its part as well. Think of all the illegitimate children of highly placed officials partaking in one-night stands. How many relationships were started while they were under the influence of whiskey?


John R Hill